


What if I have asked you to dance first?

by Star20



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Jealousy, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star20/pseuds/Star20
Summary: When Colin arrives from one of his trips things are entirely different from what he could have ever expected, not only he is different, but someone else is changed as well.Penelope is dancing with an unknown gentleman and Colin finds it impossible to let his eyes away from the scene in front of him.
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 29
Kudos: 226





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Little recommendation for those who listen to music while reading, you can listen to the song "friends" by Ed Sheeran to get in the mood of this chapter, also, Penelope and Colin are my favorite couple from the books, they are extremely cute together <3
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and let's hope we get to see them together in the series!

Chapter 1:

  
He knew something was _off_ the moment he put his eyes on _her_.

  
  
The room was crowded and _yet_ he could only focus on one _lady_ dressed in pink and white. For the first time, yellow was not on her pale skin. He had no _remote_ idea of the reason why she has never worn pink before, but it definitely made her blue eyes shine like the ocean in February, it was more than he could deal _with_. Her red velvet hair was delicately _flying_ in the air while her bright smile _lighted_ the room. There it was, her most _genuine_ smile, it was _breathtaking_. As same as her smile, the rest of her was worth looking _at_ , ever since he has left, the Penelope he though he has known for over a decade was changed. He could not be the only one who could have noticed the sudden change in her attitude. Apparently, someone else has seen her charming smile and, as followed by her _spell_ , asked her to dance.

  
  
He could not listen closely to his words, but he absolutely saw the moment when Penelope's distinctive smile appeared on her face, making his heart stop for a moment. _Has his heart always done the same every time she smiled? Has she ever smiled at him like that?._

  
  
"Arthur Murray"

  
  
Said his older brother while holding his wife's arm and looking at the same person as he was looking at, the girl with hair like fire and eyes like a storm, their younger sister's best friend.

  
  
"Excuse me _pardon_?"

  
  
Asked Colin giving a small glance to the couple in front of him, that, _surprisingly_ , have been dancing more than one song. He was holding her hand, touching her back, her long hair. He wanted to stop the _increasing_ bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach, he desired to make his eyes look away from that hurting view. Of course, he _failed_.

  
  
"The gentleman dancing with _Penelope_ "

  
  
Answered Anthony Bridgerton giving his brother a mock smile that was absurdly ignored by his little brother who was, pointlessly, focused on the youngest Featherigton sister. Suddenly his blood went directly to his chest, making his palms sweat uncontrollably. He never felt more _pathetic_.

  
  
"Good reputation, _Duke_ and _rich_ , a good match indeed"

  
  
Continued saying Anthony to a person who was _definitely_ not listening. When he realized his brother would not keep track of his words, he carefully moved away from him and took his wife to the dance floor. He never noticed his absence. He was too distracted by the view. He wanted to make a move, to grab _her_ by the hand and take _her_ to dance with him, as he has done a _thousand_ times before, but no matter how much he wished to stop whatever was happening in front of his eyes, his intentions were unsuccessfully achieved. Her smile was still on her lips when he moved his neck to get a better view, he couldn't help himself and look down again.

  
  
"She looks happy"

  
  
Said Eloise who has, apparently, materialized next to him. She was holding a glass of lemonade and erratically moving her right feet up and down on the floor behind her. He looked up at her and out of a sudden, an uncontrollable need of dancing with his sister invaded him.

  
  
"A dance little sister?"

  
  
He didn't wait for her enough time to give him a proper answer before grabbing her by the hands and move a surprised Eloise to the dance floor.

  
  
"We are far away, brother"

  
  
Said Eloise sarcastically and waited for her older brother to respond with a clever response. He didn't, he was looking at _Penelope_ who was now introducing her dance partner to her mother, who was now extremely surprised to see her younger daughter with a gentleman such as him.

  
  
Eloise was surprised as well, she has always thought her best friend was into someone completely different, a person whose hand was holding hers. Apparently, Colin believed the same since his eyes were focused on the ginger-haired girl who was now approaching the dance floor for the fourth time.

  
  
"You didn't dance with Penelope today, _didn't you_?"

  
  
Asked Eloise to her dance partner who blinked and as he has gone out into reality nod his head and whispered something she was unable to underhand. Suddenly, Colin moved his sister back to the corner where they were before. Her sister rolled her eyes and started eating again. Her brother was being a mooron, she was sure of that.

  
  
"You're being stupid brother"

  
Said Eloise to Colin who was next to her. But he was not paying attention to her nor he was eating from the table. As his eyes were controlled by themselves they were constantly searching for a _glance_ of red hair in the distance. But most importantly, he was _missing_ a pair of blue eyes that would look at him several times before his trips.

  
  
_Now those eyes were looking at someone else._

  
  


* * *

  
  
"Officially?!"

  
  
She couldn't believe her best friend's words, she was amazing and that's one of the reasons why she was her intimate friend in the first place. However, the fact that someone else, a _gentleman_ she fancied made her feel like that made her happy from the tip of her head to the bottom of her feet. She hugged her friend and smiled at her, she didn't want to be a married woman, and neither she desired to be present in all social events. Nonetheless, she was aware of her best friend's wishes to find true love and someone to build a family with. She would support her, even if now she would be more than two blocks away when that mysterious man took her to her luxury house.

  
  
"I still can't believe it El, he has chosen me, Me!"

  
  
She wouldn't deny it, not to her best friend. She was surprised by the outcome of the encounter with her dance partner. She was too concentrated on her dearest friend's brother when a good looking gentleman asked her to dance with him. If she would have been eighteen years old she would have denied his offer, but now, almost being twenty-nine years old, she couldn't wait for someone who was dreaming about her no longer.

  
  
"If I were a Duke, for sure I would've chosen you Pen"

  
  
Answered the brown-haired girl while grabbing a piece of cake from the table in front of her.

  
  
"Is he officially courting? have my prayers been heard?"

  
  
Questioned Violet Bridgerton to her guest with a bright smile on her lips. She brushed Penelope's hair slowly and put her left hand on one of her shoulders. Eloise looked at her with a confused look on her face. Her mother was definitely not referring to-

  
  
"Welcome to the family, _dear_ "

  
  
Penelope's heart stopped _beating_ for a second. _Did her best's friend mother believe she was being courted by one of her sons?_ The velvet girl asked herself while looking at the middle age lady next to her with her eyes widely open and unable to formulate any understandable word she desperately looked at her friend for help. Eloise laughed and said

  
  
"Penelope and Arthur Murray are courting mother, she is not part of the family yet"

  
  
**_Yet_.** She was not part of the family **_yet._** _Did she mean what she thought she did? It couldn't be possible_. Colin would never look at her in such a desirable way. She couldn't be in her heart, no matter how many years she wished to be in it. Her best friend must be mocking with her head, she would torture her after this. Of course, she wouldn't know until next Wednesday.

  
  
" _Maybe_ I'll be married at the end of the season, Mrs. Bridgerton"

  
  
Said Penelope to the person who made her feel part of the family even though she was never part of it. Violet has always treated her as her own daughter, and Penelope couldn't be happier about the fact that a person such as her would look after her and worry about her needs. Especially her affection needs, while being in the Bridgerton house, she would always feel like a member of the family, enjoying their talks and being welcomed in the private room, where all the family would meet and solve their problems. She was a privileged girl, she knew it from the moment she met Eloise. She would miss them after the wedding, maybe Eloise could move in with them. She hoped her future husband would be merciful with her best friend.

  
  
Violet smiled at the girl whose shoulder she was holding and touched her cheek tenderly for a moment. She was definitely one of her daughters. Maybe she would be officially part of the family if his son wasn't so blind.

  
  
Little did she know that her third son was silently listening from the doorbell in which he was standing. Her head felt dizzy for a second, the view he was standing was too much to handle, she was there like she has been several times before, but today it was different. He had no clue how to talk to her anymore, not when she was being courted by someone else.

  
  
The mere thought of it made his stomach flip by itself and move down to the floor, where it stayed next to his heart, which apparently, had been stopped for a few moments now. He had to leave, or he couldn't survive another visit.

  
  
He left with his ears still listening to Penelope's laugh. It made him smile again, he would have to get used to _this_ now.

  
  


* * *

  
  
Weeks passed and the courting was still on foot. Penelope and the Duke would meet once a week to chat and know each other more deeply. At first, the velvet haired girl was shy and timid around him. However, as time passed, she felt more comfortable with him and she got to know someone she could possibly fall in love with. She wanted to believe in marriage as a consequence of love, but she also was aware of the outcome of being a spinster in society. She enjoyed being in her actual state, nonetheless, _Lady Whistledown_ wouldn't be around for much longer if she married the Duke, no matter how much she hoped it to last forever.

  
  
People couldn't know the truth. _Yet._

  
  
While being in one of their encounters the Duke mentioned his passion for reading and writing. At that exact moment, she realized he probably would be a decent match for her. He also mentioned how he admired the world around him and his fervent desire to discover it. Unlike her unrealistic love interest, Arthur was short and thinner than Colin. He had golden straight hair and pale white skin. His eyes were green and his hands were soft. She confirmed that when he held her hand just a moment ago. He had a bright smile and contagious laugh. He was interesting and funny. Any single woman in want of a husband would be lucky to be with him. But, unfortunately, it wasn't enough, because she could never be in love with him. Even if she tried with every fiber of her heart. Because there was one small detail that kept her eyes wandering around the room every time they talked.

  
  
_Penelope Featherigton was still in love with Colin Bridgerton._

  
  
She tried to let her childhood fantasy go away as soon as it appeared in her heart. He had mentioned he would never marry her, she was there when it happened. Ever since that day she wished she would never feel like she did the first time he got into her mind without asking for permission. _Still_ , there it was, he would never be like Colin. No one compared to him, that was the most complicated issue with her being courted by someone else.

  
  
"Is it something I should be worried about _Pen_?"

  
  
Asked the male pretender in front of her with a worried smile on his face. He really worried about her feelings, it was nice, she _almost_ felt her heart moving faster on her chest. _Almost_. But nothing compared to when Colin made eye contact with her.

  
  
"Everything is perfect Arthur, there's absolutely nothing wrong at all"

  
  
They smiled at each other and Arthur decided to do something bold and kissed her right cheek with a tender kiss that made the beautiful girl in front of him blush for a moment. It was priceless.

  
  
Without the couple's acknowledgment, a pair of brown eyes were looking at them from the distance with a sad look in them. For a yet _unknown_ reason, Colin felt as his eyes wanted to look away and still _couldn't avoid_ focusing on the lady who was now laughing soundly. _There it was again_ , his smile came as natural as the sun in the morning. She was like a siren, her laugh _enchanted_ him to smile every time it came into his ears. _Sadly_ , she was not laughing because of him this time, and it made him want to punch himself in the face. Because someone else was making her smile in such a wonderful way.

  
  
Colin never felt so disappointed with himself. Strangely, Penelope Featherigton herself made him feel like an _idiot_. He still remained unsure why he had _the need_ to admire her lips for more time than it could be considered proper. He did it anyway.

  
"Are you ready to go?"

  
  
Asked his mother with a genuine smile on her face while holding his arm and moving him away from the place where Penelope and Arthur were having tea.

  
  
_"Yes"_

  
  
Said Colin giving a small glance to the couple as he couldn't _live_ without seeing her for the last time. She was laughing at him again.

  
  
He couldn't avoid wishing to be the man in front of her for a second. The problem is, he was too scared to know the reason behind his reasoning yet. But he was sure about one small thing though.

  
  
_He wanted to make Penelope laugh again, or he would have to die trying._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As many of you have read in the comments, English isn't my first language therefore a few language mistakes could appear as a write this story, thank you for all your comments, reads, and kudos :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

He found out the news while He was traveling by train to the west. He was needed immediately to solve a few issues related to the exportation and importation of goods from England to Ireland. It was, as a matter of fact, a problem which could only be solved in person talking face to face with the people involved. He wasn't willing to participate, but he had to do it anyway. It made him angry, among other things he could not mention or people would talk. Especially Lady Whitestone. A servant gave him the letter that arrived from London whilst he was drinking a cup of tea and reading the newspaper in his cabinet. Even though he was away from home and his wishes and desires were far away from him. His person of _desire_ managed a way to get into his trip, making him lost his appetite for a moment.

  
  
_Dear Colin Bridgerton,_

  
  
_How are your adventures going? Have you found a better place to live than London? I'm sure you are having a delightful time, I hope the trip by train is enjoyable. What does it feel like to be on a train? Is it like the adventure books Jules Verne describes? I hope it is, to be honest. Talking about honesty, I have something to tell you, you (and Eloise of course) are my dearest friends. That's why, and considering you will be absent for a while, I wanted to let you know some happy news. Arthur has proposed! I will be married by the end of December probably if mother is willing to wait for us. You are invited to the wedding, of course. You and Eloise are the only people who know about this. You should be proud, you are one of the people I trust the most. Don't tell your sister, she will get mad at me._

  
  
_I hope your trip is being good and you can solve any issue only you know how to deal with._

  
  
_Ps: I sent you the edition of Lady Whitestone for you to read, she probably will discover my engagement and make a fuss about it, one day she will regret her words._

  
  
_Love,_

  
  
_Your dearest friend,_

  
  
_Penelope._

  
  
It couldn't be possible, it had to be a joke, probably Benedict was behind it. She was not part of this, it had to be a mistake. He read the letter more than once to make sure it wasn't his imagination that was messing up with him. He desperately wanted the words to disappear in the air, but it clearly wouldn't erase the reality of the situation. The letter had to be burned, even if it were, probably, the last memory of her friend before _She_ \- He was not even able to say it with his own words. Her best friend will be married, in three months, he only had three months to be with _her_. _With her? What does it mean to be with her?_ They would not be _together_ , that would be a _mess_ , in all _senses_.

  
  
He hasn't considered the possibility of actually being with Penelope Featherigton. She has been there so many years that, as a consequence of _fortune_ or _fate_ , he has gotten used to seeing her almost every day. She was the _first_ person he wanted to visit every time he returned from his trips, he admired her letters and her _ability_ to write, she had a talent, and the world needed to see it. She was also very agreeable once you met her for more than five minutes, she was _interesting_ and _funny_ , her answers were always followed by a clever response and a comment about her mother. Incredibly, her smile and her laugh were like buildings, like enormous constructions made by the Greeks to admire their gods. The way her teeth would shine or how loudly her laugh was reminded him of the intense manners in which Greeks used to adore god Zeus. The most important god of all Greek mythology. Surprisingly, if she has been part of Greek mythology, people would have adored _her_. He wanted to spit his tea right in the middle of the letter in his hand. There was one sentence that troubled him more than it should, it made his heart _react_ as it has never done it before.

  
  
_You are one of the people I trust the most._

  
  
_Trust_

  
  
She trusted him and yet he was absent to make her realize that she was probably making a mistake. A mistake that didn't include him not soever. She was about to marry someone she didn't know properly and who will probably break her heart in the process. He wanted to _punch_ the table and leave the train as soon as possible. Anthony or whoever he is courting Pen does not _know_ nor _deserves_ her best friend. **Wait** , _does he knows who does and who does not deserve her?_ If there's someone who was not worthy of her uniqueness was _him_. Because simply as that, he realized a truth that was even scarier than Penelope marrying someone else.

  
  
_He didn't deserve Penelope as well._

  
  
_Hold on a second_.

  
  
 _Did he want to be enough for her? Why would he wish to be in such a privileged position?_ She has always been there for him, during his trips, at social events which were an absolute waste of time, and even having tea in his house more times than himself. She was there, _always_. _Why hasn't he seen that before?_ _He has just assumed she would never leave his side?_ Now he wanted to hit himself _instead_. He had always thought she was a kind of extension of his little sister. He never believed she could, for once, be an individual about to marry someone else but him. For a small second, he let himself believe he could be with her in the church and see her walking down the aisle wearing a white dress beautifully made for her. He wasn't meant to _be_ with her, she didn't deserve someone like _him_. He needed to find someone for her, a good person, who would marry her for _love_.

  
  
He closed his eyes and tried to imagine what she could have been doing at that same moment. _Would she be reading a book? Writing another letter? Would she be wearing those horrible dresses that made her eyes shine like the blue painting in his room? Would she be thinking about the Duke?_ Did he still have a chance to- to find _someone_ for her?

  
  
He needed to find the answer to those questions as soon as possible. He waited for the train to stop and grabbed his things, his bag in one hand and the letter in the other, ran around the station trying to find a train to go back to London. He had to see her, she needed to know she was making a mistake. She deserved someone else, even if it wasn't him and that idea made his heart _suddenly_ feel frozen. She had to marry someone who could see how amazing she was, not _Arthur_ , not _him_ , someone else that made her feel the most important person in the room. Like Daphne and Simon.

  
  
He was not imagining her in a white dress and walking down the aisle for him, it could be _anyone_ but him, he didn't deserve _her_ anyway.

  
  
The train started moving and, _finally_ , Colin found peace. He missed her smile already.

  
  


* * *

  
  
"You're back!"

  
  
Screamed his little brother to him the moment he entered the front door of his house. He was happy and impatient at the same time. He missed his family, he truly did, but there's someone else he had to see first. Someone whose voice he could listen to from the distance. _Why were his hands suddenly sweating?_ It wasn't _important_ , he had to see her and tell her the truth. He hugged Hyacinth and followed Penelope's siren laugh. He smiled immediately. As she has been waiting for him to make an appearance, she joined her eyes with his for a long time as soon as he entered the room. She stopped talking and opened her mouth several times instead, _has her lips always been so big and pink?_. She has lost her words and her cheeks were now getting red as he admired her from his comfortable position on the couch. She has never been more similar to Afrodite, Arthur did not know her enough to know _that_.

  
  
"Little sister, can I have a word with Pen, please?"

  
  
He had to admit it, he had missed saying her name out loud. Weirdly, her name has appeared in his dreams lately, _Pen_ wearing a pink dress, _Pen_ writing a letter, _Pen_ smiling at him. And, amazingly, _Pen_ wearing only her nightdress and moving to his bed with him. _Sadly_ , his hands would only find a space next to him on his bed, for a strange reason, he wished for her velvet hair friend to be there in the morning. _Luckily_ , he could see her now, wearing a blue dress that matched her eyes. Afrodite would be _jealous_ of her beauty. It has no sense to deny it for much longer, she was _beautiful_ , and Colin couldn't believe he hasn't _seen_ it before. Eloise has left now and he had the chance to _admire_ her lips again, they were as pink as _always_.

  
  
"You're here earlier, I'm surprised, honestly"

  
  
Admitted Penelope while touching the fabric of her dress, which now felt warmer than before. She smiled at him but then she closed her mouth when she realized he has been looking at her for a long time. He couldn't be possible-

  
  
"I had to see _you_ "

  
Answered Colin as he couldn't filter his words. It was the truth, after all, he had to see her, she has been in her dreams for too long. She moved her eyes down to the floor again and whispered something he could not listen to. _Didn't she know that she was important to him? Didn't she know Arthur could never see her as the amazing person she is?_

  
  
"You've read my letter I assume"

  
 _ **Yes**. I did hear the news._ Answered his head before he could formulate a decent thought by himself. He was contented to see her, truly, but, he remembered again, she was being courted by _someone_ else at the moment.

  
"I have actually, that's the reason why I'm here"

  
 _Has he traveled back to London only to see me?_ Thought Penelope while moving herself away from him. He was _not_ going to do this now when she let herself be happy, when she was _almost_ into Arthur, not when she would be _married_ soon. She would not let him ruin her _happiness_ , not _now_.

  
"I don't need a protector"

  
Said the girl in front of him with a strong voice that he has never heard coming from her before. _Was she angry? Was she suddenly stronger than before? Were her eyes always been so blue when she was angry?_

  
"Arthur is not good enough for you"

  
Finally, he said what he wanted to say ever since he arrived home. She was notably surprised by his words. She was not expecting to hear something like this coming from his lips. He knew he could be stupid but he never actually thought he could be so stupid. He has messed it up, hard.

  
"He loves me, isn't it _enough_?"

  
Said Penelope still angry at him but not being strong enough to look directly into his eyes. It made him _miss_ his blue eyes for a moment. He still didn't understand _why_.

  
"He doesn't _deserve_ you"

  
Again, his lips decided to work by themselves and say things without any prior thinking behind his words. He could have sworn he has seen a _glance_ of a smile on her face. It made him feel _hopeful_ , he didn't know why.

  
"How can you know who deserves _me_? If it isn't him, who _is_ it?"

  
 _ **Me**. No, not **me** , someone else deserves you, **Penelope**._ His heart screamed his name as soon as she made the question. He didn't deserve her, she was too much and he was too little. He wasn't enough for her. For her friend. _Why did the word friend make him feel in such a bad way?_

  
"I need to go"

  
He didn't have a reasonable reason to do what he did. The only thing he was sure of, was that she couldn't leave the room, not now. That's the reason why, as a stupid consequence, he grabbed her arm and moved her closer to him. He felt the uncontrollable _necessity_ of having her as close as possible. _Did her lips always been so delicate? Why hasn't he seen that before?_ She was still silent and in shock when he felt a desire he didn't know he could be capable of having. He wanted to _touch_ her lips and _kiss_ her. He wanted to _kiss_ Penelope Featherigton. _Why?_ He had no idea.

  
He let her arms go and, as a consequence, the heat of her skin has let him away. He wasn't ready to let her go _yet_. She looked at him for a moment and smiled, she felt uncomfortable and he couldn't blame her for that. It was _his_ fault after all. He focused his eyes on her lips again, they were like a strawberry ready to be eaten. For pure Instinct, he moved his hand and _touched_ her lips with his thumb, that was enough to make his skin _vibrate_ by the touch of her lips, he couldn't _resist_ it, he needed _more_. But, _unfortunately_ , she stepped back and left the room. He was alone now. There was one little problem to be solved and only he had the answer.

  
He needed to make sure Arthur never _kisses_ Penelope's lips, or he would have to deal with something breaking inside of him. The thing is, the only solution to his predicament is, he had to kiss _Penelope_ first.

  
Maybe like that her desire would be fulfilled and he could finally find someone perfect for her. He just had to look at the mirror in front of him to find the answer, but he was blind to his _feelings_.

  
 _Perhaps_ , Penelope would not be walking down the aisle in December if he kisses her. _Probably_ , she marries someone else.

  
"I will kiss her"

  
Said Colin to himself leaving the room quietly. He never questioned why his lips felt dizzy when he left the room. He was only focused on the view in front of him, The Featherigtons house.

  
_Penelope never looked more kissable._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hear suggestions for chapter 3 :) 
> 
> next chapter soon!


	3. Chapter 3

He was never so excited to be at a party, Colin bridgerton usually wouldn't like to be surrounded by young ladies who would flirt with him for his yearly income only. Nonetheless, he was particularly interested in joining in the festive event that would take place tonight, in no more than four hours he would be next to her, again. Was he excited to see her? _Absurdly_ , he was. Did he know the current reason why his excitement was on top? He was _clueless_ , as he has been ever since he arrived in London again.

  
  
"Can you read this to me, brother?"

  
  
Asked the small Hyacinth with a book in her hands. He would rather keep getting ready for the party than spend time with his little sister. However, the girl's begging eyes make him change his mind immediately. His mother well trained her, she would surely be married as soon as she is introduced to society in a few years. He would make sure no indecent man put his filthy hands on her. In Daphne's case, he was unable to deny the intense attachment between the Duke and her. He was unsure at first, but then, they proved love can conquer all. _Since when has he been so poetic?_ Things were changing suddenly this season, he needed to travel soon, but he needed to solve the Penelope situation first. That small detail has changed his life in so many ways, he hoped normality comes soon. Somehow.

  
  
"Cinderella, _huh?_ Mother used to read this to mee too sister"

  
  
He smiled at her and sat her in his legs. He opened the book which was delicately decorated with handmade drawings and started reading the book to Hyacinth who was now fully concentrated on the character's storyline. If she were Cinderella, she would mistrust the prince, probably, she wouldn't trust the first man who ever approached her on a ball. Her mother taught her that valuable lesson.

  
  
"Then, Cinderella left, leaving the prince alone with a lost shoe on his hand, he put himself the mission of finding her, no matter the cost"

  
  
What would he have done if he were in the prince's situation? He would let her _go_ , probably, there were plenty of girls to see and most of them weren't even of his liking. Nonetheless, if Cinderella would have red hair and blue eyes he must surely he would run after her. Maybe he _should_ have run after her a long time ago.

  
  
If he has imagined someone the dame in distress, it wasn't most probably Penelope Featherigton. First of all, she has just gotten into society officially, after several seasons she has finally found a suitor who, unfortunately, would not save her from her fate. Colin was sure he would never make her happy. Furthermore, she has always been invisible, unless for his brothers and himself. She was always in the corner of the room, in the dark corners of everyone's eyes. She was not the center of attention. She never shined like a lightning thunder, ever. She was like Cinderella at the begging of the book, dresses in unflattering clothes and being treated like she were less than everybody else. Otherwise, Penelope has always been beautiful, like Cinderella. Why does always reminds him about _her_ these days? Why does _she_ have to be in all his dreams?

  
  
"Are you okay, brother?"

  
  
Asked the little girl to his brother who has suddenly stopped reading. He nodded with his head in response and continue reading, but this time, a constant idea was moving around his head.

  
  
If Penelope was like Cinderella. _Then_ , he would find her a prince.

  
  


* * *

  
  
The water was cold but he still managed to feel an intense heat inside his body, as he was filled with hot water or having a long shower in his bathroom. It was a kind of feeling he was not accustomed to. He was also not used to seeing Penelope surrounded by so many people at the same time, it suddenly made him feel lonely. His older brother was next to him, but he was not aware enough to realize his presence. He could only put his attention on the honored person tonight, the bride to be, the woman who was now in the middle of the room talking to several married women, asking for advice, and smiling at them. Her dress was white and her lips were red, she has never worn that color before, now it was _all_ Colin could see. Pen wearing a _red_ necklace, a _red_ dress, a _red_ lipstick, it made him smile, _has his heart just beat stronger?_ It was _curious_ indeed.

  
  
" _Enjoying_ the view?"

  
  
Asked Anthony to his brother whose first response was nodding with his head. However, apparently after realizing what he has _just_ done, he quickly denied with his head and said.

  
  
"I'm looking for Eloise, have you seen _her_?"

  
  
Answered Colin looking at his brother for a second, but then, as attracted to the light like a mosquito, his eyes moved back to Penelope, who was now holding her fiancée's hand and smiling at him. As he couldn't control himself, he frowned and... did he just _growled_?

  
  
"Eloise is right here brother, talking to our mother"

  
  
Said Anthony with a laugh and touching his brother's shoulder with his right hand. Why has his brother have to be so blind to _his_ feelings? Anthony was not sure, he wished he would realize soon. Meanwhile, Colin opened his mouth a few times but no words came out of it, he was speechless like Newton lost in the middle of the park. He couldn't be happier about messing up with his brother.

  
  
"Miss Featherigton looks particularly _nice_ tonight, doesn't _she_?"

  
  
 _Of course, she does_. Answered his brain for him. Now that he has finally accepted her beauty, his brain managed to constantly focus on Penelope whenever she was in the room. It was odd and yet, all he could withness was a _beautiful_ young lady that seemed happy. For a strange reason, he didn't want her to be happy tonight, it has never happened before. _Incredibly_ , he wished her to be happy with someone else, someone who resembled him in a way, _why?_ It was still _unknown_.

  
  
" _Yes_ "

  
  
He simply said, and as charmed by a spell, his feet moved to the center of the room where a red velvet hair girl was talking with her fiancé. He tried to ignore the way his heart moved faster on his chest but it was impossible. She has never been _more_ beautiful.

  
  
"Miss Featherigton, Mr. Murray, can I have a dance with the lady, please?"

  
  
The young man gladly smiled at Colin and silently kissed her hand making the black-haired Bridgeton lose his temper for a second, he wasn't angry because of the kiss, he couldn't, _right_?.

  
  
"I _owe_ you an apology miss"

  
  
Said Colin while moving her dance partner to the dance floor, her hands were _small_ and _delicate_ , her eyes were _hopeful_ and _blue_. When did he miss those precious eyes to look at? Why did he just felt a _pain_ in his chest? Was he _sick_? Hopefully, he _wasn't_.

  
  
"So _do_ I, I was surprised by your words the last time we saw"

  
  
 _I was surprised by your engagement_. His head bumped the sentence without any further preparation. As a consequence, it made his eyes cross paths with a pair of blue eyes who now seemed worried about him. As an instinct, and trying to get as much intimacy as possible, Colin started to twist around her dance partner, and with laughs and dance moves he moved her to the outside of the house, where the garden was. The Duke must be rich, or otherwise, his flowers wouldn't be so posh and different from one another. Just like the lady whose hands he was holding, unlike others, she was _unique_.

  
  
"Why are we here, _Col_?"

  
  
Asked Penelope when seeing where she was and realizing people may talk, including lady Whistledown. She had eyes everywhere. _However_ , she was more worried about her husband to be, who may be wondering where she was. Arthur was a good man, he didn't deserve to have a rumor attached to him. Where was Colin taking her?

  
  
"We need to talk"

  
Talk? Haven't they talked yet? Why did she have a bad feeling at the bottom of her chest? It was Colin, the same person she has been _stupidly_ in love with for more time she was able to remember. Thus, he wouldn't hurt her, would _he_?

  
  
"If it's about Arthur then I guess we already talked"

  
  
 _Arthur again_. Thought Colin while grabbing her hand and directing her to a flower arcade. It was delicately decorated with white hyacinths and purple roses. Somehow, it made the situation more romantic than it should have been. Nonetheless, Colin was more concentrated on the beautiful lady in front of him than on everything else surrounding them.

  
  
"We need to go, _Colin_ , they must be probably looking for me, what if lady-"

  
  
"You can't go now, _Pen_ "

  
Said the boy in front of her begging with his brown eyes looking directly into hers. Was he _blushing_? It couldn't _be_. He was not being romantic nor being a possible suitor for her. He was just making the situation uncomfortable for both of them. She needed to figure out what to write to save not only Colin's reputation but also her own.

  
  
"Why did you bring me here then?"

  
  
Since when she has transformed into someone with such importance in his life? Why did he take too long to appreciate how _beautiful_ she was? Not only physically but also mentally? He should have never said those horrible words about her. She was the perfect wife to be, pure, innocent, real, honest to herself.

  
  
" _Colin_? If you brought me here for nothing I'll get back to the party where everyone is waiting for for-"

  
  
"Can't you just listen to me for a second?"

  
  
whispered the brown-haired man whose hands were now holding Penelope's cheeks and carefully brushing her pale skin which now was getting red as time passed. His eyes now were focused on her lashes, which he has encountered so closely for the first time since he met her. They were long and delicate, they were red as same as her velvet hair. Her eyes were giving him a mixture of emotions that made them shine with glimpses of gold and white. They were shinning for him and only for him to witness. He has never felt so close to another human being, not even in his years of traveling around the globe discovering new places and people. He couldn't keep it any longer, he would kiss Penelope despite the pain in his chest remains for eternity.

  
  
"Can you _kiss_ me?"

  
  
Asked Colin to a nervous Penelope who was too surprised thus unable to produce any logical thoughts rather than words on her pink lips. _Was he asking permission to do the only thing she has been waiting for forever since she was a teenager?_. She decided to ignore the warning alarms in her mind and follow her desires. Her corset would break if her heartbeat continues rushing in her chest. Yet, she nods her head at the stunning man in front of her and blindly let him place his sweet lips on hers.

  
  
It was nothing like Colin would have imagined, he has known her as long as he has remembered and it was nothing like he has ever thought it could be. She was not an expert, he could tell by the timid way in which the kiss started. Thus, her arms were still on both sides of her body when he decided to touch her shoulders and move her closer to him. Instinctively, she placed her short arms on his shoulders. He has never been kissed so _passionately_ before, not even by several women who have been in his arms before. He wanted to stop the beating in his heart that reminded him of a train arriving at the station, but he was too concentrated on the pleasure he was feeling inside her body. It made him feel strong, it made him feel weak and like a seventeen-year-old child again. But everything that goes up eventually needs to go down, and so Penelope left his side with tears in her eyes and looking more _stunning_ than she has ever been. Her hair was messy as a consequence of the intense contact between them and her cheeks were red, exactly like her hair. He wished time travel existed so he could go back to the moment when he fell off his horse and kiss her as soon as she introduced herself. Unfortunately, just before he could produce a sentence _(is not like he was able of doing it anyhow_ ) reality decided to show up.

  
  
"Pen! Are you here?"

  
  
Eloise's voice felt like a balsamic on her mind. She needed to run away and never cross paths with Colin Bridgerton ever again. What they just did was a mistake, the worst mistake she did in her twenty-eight years of life. So she silently left his side and run away to his younger sister and her best friend.

  
  
She never noticed how _sad_ Colin's eyes were the moment she moved away from him.

  
  


* * *

  
  
It has been a week and he hasn't still been able to physically move one block and confront her. He wasn't sure about his feelings for her, the only thing he was sure of, is the fact that he would prevent the imminent wedding from happening. She was worthy in so many ways, and he won't let someone like an unknown Duke ruin his Penelope. Did he just say his? She wasn't his property of course. However, ever since the incident, he would be in the private room of the family house more often. Since he wasn't strong enough to see Pen in his house, he wished for an accidental encounter in Bridgeton's house as possible. Surprisingly, the same girl who would spend more time in his house than her own didn't show up in five entire days. Instead, Eloise visited her, she was not the one who passionately kissed her on the garden surrounded by hyacinths. As to keep his mind occupied and prevent himself to believe his friendship with Penelope was ended, his leisure time was spent reading books and writing. The plain act of holding a book, however, would only remind him of the person who was persistently avoiding him in his own home. Colin was _doomed_ , he needed to face the reality and talk to her. It was now or never.

  
  
"Excuse madam, is it miss Penelope featherington home? Would you mind if I pay for a visit?"

  
  
"You're late, I'm afraid"

  
  
Why would I ever be late? Thought Colin with a _bad_ feeling in the bottom of his stomach. The urgency of the situation didn't let him think straight and therefore his impulses showed up first making him enter the Featherigtons house to face her once and for all.

  
  
"Mr. Bridgerton, what are you doing here?"

  
  
Asked Portia Featherigton to the gentleman who has entered her house without being either invited or announced. If he was here to see her youngest daughter he was late.

  
  
"Is Pen here? I need to see her, please"

  
  
He wished Portia wouldn't see the desperation in his voice. But there was no other choice but to verbally show how he has missed her blue eyes in the past five days. He didn't like showing himself as vulnerable, he was a Bridgerton for a reason. Nonetheless, if he wanted to accomplish his mission he had to let his fears away and find Penelope.

  
  
"You're late, Mr. Bridgerton"

  
  
Why does everyone keep saying he is late? Late for what? Did she marry the Duke already? If Portia would not be helpful as to find her dearest friend, he would find her by himself. Without giving any time to the lady in front of him to say no more, Colin rushed inside the house and searched in all rooms, the kitchen, the loo, the garden even. Until finally, he arrived at the smallest room in the house, it was almost empty, however, it was filled with books from bottom to top, it was painted in a pale yellow tone, and it had a tiny mirror. It was Penelope's room, he was completely sure. Nonetheless, there was no one there, not even a soul was inside of it. _Where did she go_?

  
  
"She's gone"

  
  
Said Portia who has appeared out of the sudden behind his back. He looked up at her and it was only then when he noticed tear beats in her cheeks. Portia has been crying recently and Penelope was nowhere to be found. Has she left? _Where?_ Why did she leave without saying _goodbye_?. Seeing her empty bedroom made him realize how empty he was without her. She was there for him, always, her letters made him the happiest person in the world. He waited hopefully to see her in every social event. God, he even enjoyed dancing with her. Unfortunately, he has only noticed those wonderful things about Penelope when she has magically disappeared in the air. He was going to find her, he needed her in his life. Now that Arthur was out of the picture he could see why her best friend has become an important factor in his life lately, why she was constantly in his dreams, or why his mind was filled with _her_ smile or _her_ red lips. It was so clear that it almost made him puke, the realization hit him like a tone of bricks. He was blind, he has been blind for so long that it made his heart hurt. He was a fool who only realized what he has missed when it was already gone. He was _madly_ and _irremediably_ in love with Penelope Featherigton. The mere idea of _losing_ her made his heart fight with his chest. When he left Penelope's house, one idea was constantly in his head, one idea that frightened him to the bottom of his heart.

  
  
He couldn't live without her lips, not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen next? Let me know in the comments :)
> 
> Thank you for all your love! It means a lot!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this first chapter! :)


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